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zesty_pintointellegent beings the size of fleas... advanced technology... thimbles.... (dunno where that came from) -someone
“Now! The moment you have been waiting for!”
These are the sorts of words you would expect to hear but never actually believe. Would you really be waiting for this moment? Would you live for that moment? If so, wouldn’t that make the rest of your life purposeless? It’s this illogical preposition that shows just how intelligent scientists are but are not. Anyway, there was a point to this, wasn’t there? Oh yes, there was. These were the words of someone that did actually live for this moment.
In a convention hall crowded with fellow scientists, prospective investing groups that love paying eccentrics to do these sort of things, and their relatives that came or did not of their own free will; they all sat in folding aluminum chairs from a convention center that could not afford the chairs with cushions. People that came did not really care if they paid 20 dollars for their generic snack table with or without cushions on their folding aluminum chairs, though, so it did not really matter. The person that mattered at this moment was one Doctor Eugene Dongle.
At this moment, Eugene Dongle stared at the crowd with a sort of pride in his face. It was the pride of knowing that he was facing his peers in one of the greatest achievements of scientific history. You see, Dr. Dongle was a physicist/nanotechnologist. If you were to meet someone like him on the street and ask him for the mathematical validity behind why the charged cloud model is a more valid use than the Bohr model of atoms or the reasoning behind why there is a limit of 5 molecules per layer of silicon for a microcircuit’s insulation, he would answer your question just as easily as if you were asking him for the time. That is, unless you lacked hands or some other device to carry a watch with, but that is another subject altogether. Anyway, Dr. Dongle was a very important man. And this time, he brought to the world something he had been working on for the sake of mankind.
As a physicist/nanotechnologist his passion began as a sort of love of small things. His mentor, Dr. Jumbo, recalled with most fondness how his first question to the professor was “how small can things be made?” As a psychology professor, he gave a verbose and eloquent response that from that day forward propelled a young Eugene Dongle into the study of nanotechnology.
“The idea,” Dr. Dongle told his biographer “then came to me on how to make the world easier to manage. It took time to consider, but then I realized that there were certain things that could have been manipulated with the right formulas.” In the words of the biographer, he knew how to change things. He realized that there was something beyond thermosdynamics or Newton’s first or Einstein’s relatives, in the words of the biographer again. Not long after Dr. Dongle got his second doctrate for nanotechnology he was offered a grant for his project by the Brother Big, the corporation giant that was known for making their money off of ideas like convention centers that charge 20 dollars to sit in aluminum chairs that did not have cushions on them. The project was going to be huge, in a small way, they said. Of course, there were scoffers, until there were tales of the reports.
Although the project was under close scrutiny, those who looked into his project found it surprisingly possible when he told them that the first project was the make a working computer the size of a flea. Of course, no one believed it, but the people who saw it did not deny it either, making the people who didn’t believe it actually kind of embarrassed whenever they thought of their doubts.
Project THIMBLES, which was an acronym for something that was also classified, was the name of the project that Dr. Dongle worked on. What it meant was unknown, but regardless was held in secrecy as he worked on his nanoscience.
“Gentlemen and ladies and gentlemen…” Dr. Dongle said without realization “Many of us have wondered how possible it was to work on creating a microscopic world. The possibilities of microsizing everything was believed to be a possible solution by only the most eccentric of people. I am not eccentric as you can see, but I too believe in this.” There was silence for that moment until people applauded. Dr. Dongle bowed and then bowed again as people continued to clap and then bowed again a third time for the clapping until it finally stopped “For you see, I have broken the law of thermodynamics. I have proven that the conservation of energy is implausible. For you see… I have done what no nanotechnologist was capable of doing…” He paused again and then people started applauding. Dr. Dongle bowed again and then they stopped so he could continue.
“-I have proven that you can remove or create mass through an object under sealed conditions!”
This time there was no clapping. Dr. Dongle paused anyway and then continued.
“Now you may think this is impossible, but I have been able to do it.”
When he said this, Dr. Dongle then pulled away a curtain that was behind him. The audience were shocked to see a thimble.
Well, it was a large thimble. Actually, it was a thimble the size of a hand but looked large enough to be worn by really large people if they needed to sew considering their distance. By the thimble was the body of some large plastic thing that looked like a flea. Next to it was a computer, and it looked like the flea was larger than the computer.
It turned out that Dr. Dongle had been capable of turning things larger. His belief was that making things larger would solve world hunger and many other things that people liked to complain to politicians about in order for people to vote for them.
It was all real, of course. People didn’t believe it at first and thought the flea was a well-made scale model made from plastic and foam until they saw it drink out of a water bottle and had insectologists examine the flea for proof who confirmed that it was a flea and that it was not very happy being in a large plastic box when it should have been . Dr. Dongle was given the Nobel Peace Prize for fixing world hunger and overpopulation. A year later the United States used it to blow up North Korea with an enlarged 5000 ton grenade and people were angry about it, but Dr. Dongle didn’t care as much about it except on documentaries. Shortly after Dr. Dongle pursuited his real interest in life: crocheting and flea circuses. Ever since then, Dr. Dongle finally lived happy knowing that he no longer lived in the shadow of his father, the guy who invented the electronic security key for software.
“Now! The moment you have been waiting for!”
These are the sorts of words you would expect to hear but never actually believe. Would you really be waiting for this moment? Would you live for that moment? If so, wouldn’t that make the rest of your life purposeless? It’s this illogical preposition that shows just how intelligent scientists are but are not. Anyway, there was a point to this, wasn’t there? Oh yes, there was. These were the words of someone that did actually live for this moment.
In a convention hall crowded with fellow scientists, prospective investing groups that love paying eccentrics to do these sort of things, and their relatives that came or did not of their own free will; they all sat in folding aluminum chairs from a convention center that could not afford the chairs with cushions. People that came did not really care if they paid 20 dollars for their generic snack table with or without cushions on their folding aluminum chairs, though, so it did not really matter. The person that mattered at this moment was one Doctor Eugene Dongle.
At this moment, Eugene Dongle stared at the crowd with a sort of pride in his face. It was the pride of knowing that he was facing his peers in one of the greatest achievements of scientific history. You see, Dr. Dongle was a physicist/nanotechnologist. If you were to meet someone like him on the street and ask him for the mathematical validity behind why the charged cloud model is a more valid use than the Bohr model of atoms or the reasoning behind why there is a limit of 5 molecules per layer of silicon for a microcircuit’s insulation, he would answer your question just as easily as if you were asking him for the time. That is, unless you lacked hands or some other device to carry a watch with, but that is another subject altogether. Anyway, Dr. Dongle was a very important man. And this time, he brought to the world something he had been working on for the sake of mankind.
As a physicist/nanotechnologist his passion began as a sort of love of small things. His mentor, Dr. Jumbo, recalled with most fondness how his first question to the professor was “how small can things be made?” As a psychology professor, he gave a verbose and eloquent response that from that day forward propelled a young Eugene Dongle into the study of nanotechnology.
“The idea,” Dr. Dongle told his biographer “then came to me on how to make the world easier to manage. It took time to consider, but then I realized that there were certain things that could have been manipulated with the right formulas.” In the words of the biographer, he knew how to change things. He realized that there was something beyond thermosdynamics or Newton’s first or Einstein’s relatives, in the words of the biographer again. Not long after Dr. Dongle got his second doctrate for nanotechnology he was offered a grant for his project by the Brother Big, the corporation giant that was known for making their money off of ideas like convention centers that charge 20 dollars to sit in aluminum chairs that did not have cushions on them. The project was going to be huge, in a small way, they said. Of course, there were scoffers, until there were tales of the reports.
Although the project was under close scrutiny, those who looked into his project found it surprisingly possible when he told them that the first project was the make a working computer the size of a flea. Of course, no one believed it, but the people who saw it did not deny it either, making the people who didn’t believe it actually kind of embarrassed whenever they thought of their doubts.
Project THIMBLES, which was an acronym for something that was also classified, was the name of the project that Dr. Dongle worked on. What it meant was unknown, but regardless was held in secrecy as he worked on his nanoscience.
“Gentlemen and ladies and gentlemen…” Dr. Dongle said without realization “Many of us have wondered how possible it was to work on creating a microscopic world. The possibilities of microsizing everything was believed to be a possible solution by only the most eccentric of people. I am not eccentric as you can see, but I too believe in this.” There was silence for that moment until people applauded. Dr. Dongle bowed and then bowed again as people continued to clap and then bowed again a third time for the clapping until it finally stopped “For you see, I have broken the law of thermodynamics. I have proven that the conservation of energy is implausible. For you see… I have done what no nanotechnologist was capable of doing…” He paused again and then people started applauding. Dr. Dongle bowed again and then they stopped so he could continue.
“-I have proven that you can remove or create mass through an object under sealed conditions!”
This time there was no clapping. Dr. Dongle paused anyway and then continued.
“Now you may think this is impossible, but I have been able to do it.”
When he said this, Dr. Dongle then pulled away a curtain that was behind him. The audience were shocked to see a thimble.
Well, it was a large thimble. Actually, it was a thimble the size of a hand but looked large enough to be worn by really large people if they needed to sew considering their distance. By the thimble was the body of some large plastic thing that looked like a flea. Next to it was a computer, and it looked like the flea was larger than the computer.
It turned out that Dr. Dongle had been capable of turning things larger. His belief was that making things larger would solve world hunger and many other things that people liked to complain to politicians about in order for people to vote for them.
It was all real, of course. People didn’t believe it at first and thought the flea was a well-made scale model made from plastic and foam until they saw it drink out of a water bottle and had insectologists examine the flea for proof who confirmed that it was a flea and that it was not very happy being in a large plastic box when it should have been . Dr. Dongle was given the Nobel Peace Prize for fixing world hunger and overpopulation. A year later the United States used it to blow up North Korea with an enlarged 5000 ton grenade and people were angry about it, but Dr. Dongle didn’t care as much about it except on documentaries. Shortly after Dr. Dongle pursuited his real interest in life: crocheting and flea circuses. Ever since then, Dr. Dongle finally lived happy knowing that he no longer lived in the shadow of his father, the guy who invented the electronic security key for software.
