See the Mouseachu! Oh, and his flunkie. You know, that pinto guy

Episode 3 doesn't have as much that strikes me as a bad screenplay. The camera work that struck me as lazy in episode 2 is now reduced significantly and feels more like the camera is trying to create something more confining, trying to make the audience focus better on the action and really work to see all the minor details and wonder that makes for the fascinating and mundane between the cast. Plus, little nuggets of ideas through the film are implemented later on, although so much fewer of them seem to be around.

What annoys me the most out of all of this is the endless "tell don't show" tendency the actors have. For example in that assault on the battleship in the beginning, Obi-Wan and Anakin don't seem to show any sort of panic when they aren't interacting with particular characters, and while it reflects their veteran behavior, you can see the major difference when you have Obi-Wan calmly telling R2 to fix an elevator quickly falling to their death but will inflect emotion the next minute at a jab made by Anakin. Anakin didn't need to tell us why he shouldn't do certain things or what he shouldn't do. It would even fit better into the mold of Darth Vader that he is destined to become, who is not a very talkative man and shows more emotion with one gesture of the hand than what Anakin can say in a minute.

I'm still trying to figure out what Lucas's analysis was in terms of how to portray Anakin. He seems so oddly stiff at times as though he's repressing so much, but then there's scenes where he's expressing things all over the place. Maybe he'll be angry or upset but then apologize for speaking out of line and you can't really tell the difference in his tone. It's kind of weird because his expression of lines, his inability to express himself without words, his awkward laugh... it's reminiscent of two different film heroes.



Just saying!

Having said that, the first ten minutes of the battle is amazing and I still think it holds up really well and keeps relevant to the whole story of the film itself of an end to one conflict which will lead to a new ending.

I know at this point Lucas just wanted it to be done and fill in the holes between Attack of The Clones and A New Hope, but I wish he was willing to turn episode 3 into two parts. Back then it wasn't really conventional (I think Kill Bill was called selling out for making their sequel two parts, for example), but Lucas could have gotten away with it when Episode 3 was already filling in so much of a gap.

The visions Anakin has of Padme just emphasizes to me just how appropriate it would be to have shown Anakin those visions in episode 2. Lucas really would have made something great out of it. If episode 1 even had his first words to Padme been "are you an angel? I had a dream of you up in a sky among a gathering of others, and you're guiding someone to help lead them" referring to the council and how Padme would lead to Palpatine's succession. No one would really think about it because anyone can say things like that, but the audience would fathom that Anakin's real powers are legit.

I know Obi Wan and the jedi seem to be endlessly skeptical of Palpatine and the council, but would it have been bad of them to see more about the council that made them really unsure of them? I suppose the clone program would be one of them, but the jedi don't seem to be as upset about it as you would think.

I feel like everyone in this film except Palpatine really feels silly in this film. And yes, I snicker at Palpatine all the time when he goes "GOoOOoOOoood," but his "I'm obviously evil and will monologue about it all the time" is downright satisfying with the cheesiness of this film.

I know Grievous' weak performance against Obi Wan was explained through the much-praised Clone Wars miniseries, but it really hurts that such an insane character was neutered to such a point that we couldn't be promised an amazing fight scene between the two. It kind of makes me wonder if Lucas didn't think of how the three films would really work together since he could have had Kenobi obsess with becoming better with the lightsaber after losing Qui-Gon to make sure he can protect others.

Edit: My quest to figure out Christensen's awful acting came with this reminder that Lucas basically had his actors working in space without someone to reflect emotion with. This combined with some of the worst dialogue I've seen written in awhile just mismanaged some amazing talent.

So screen doctor changes this time:

-Dialogue tightening. At the least, remove redundant dialogue and just have the actors express what they're feeling. When Anakin becomes Darth Vader, his interaction with Padme can be shown as more emotional, more raw. When they kiss, he forces it on her. When Padme asks what's wrong, he tells her not to worry.

-Adding to that, the bond between Anakin and Palpatine needs to be more than friends to "please help me save Padme." I would consider having Palpatine instead blackmail Anakin even before Windu's death, perhaps through another assassination attempt towards Padme that he concedes only he can stop (which will be appropriate when we find out that Palpatine is the one who is sending the assassins). When Anakin, now attained as his Darth Vader form, finds the assassins and kills them, his emotional instinct is what makes him unable to tell Padme apart from his very enemies. Obi Wan would come just conveniently enough for Anakin to think that this was all a plan that Obi Wan did out of hatred, or maybe even jealousy (throughout the film it could be suggested to him that way as Obi Wan uses her to find a way to reach Anakin but as what he sees to be her betrayal to him.

-Order 66 seems more like a verbal command, but wouldn't it make more sense to emphasize this was a built in program for all clones rather than an immediate betrayal? I would, so scrap the order as a compliance from the clones and instead show the command going to a radio tower and all the clones behaving like defectively before acting out. Maybe someone complains that the program has not been perfected with the clones and Palpatine kills him and tells his second to execute the program. It would also explain how the clones become so much more useless in the later films. Otherwise, Order 66 being a verbal program all clones consent to just doesn't make sense with the clone war series. For the current animated series that features what normal clones are left, they could write in that they found out about Order 66 and got the program removed/reprogrammed out of their heads.

-Break Revenge of The Sith into two parts. The first chronicles Anakin's fall into Darth Vader. There's enough there to really fit into 90 minutes. The rest of the film could be filled in with Palpatine's corruption of Anakin and twisting him and his blackmail of Padme to make sure he twists harder until Anakin truly succumbs and accepts joining the Sith. At the same time, Qui Gon appears to Yoda or Obi Wan to warn him of what is coming.

The second part would chronicle a gathering of what jedi is surviving, Order 66, and their eventual revelation of who Darth Vader is and how to stop Anakin. There could be other jedi that could have survived and their slow attempt to survive and escape death from the patrols of clone troopers. Obi Wan could be angrily telling Qui Gon to go away for making this all happen thanks to him, while Qui Gon keeps urging him to save Anakin.

Padme in the meantime would notice the increase in security (that's no longer for her security but to make sure the jedi don't touch her) and the jedi's attempt to reach her to break the news of Anakin's behavior. Some jedi die in the process, which is to be expected. It also helps the audience and Padme see that Anakin is no longer the same person she remembers as she realizes Anakin's personality has either been completely fractured or he is trying to hide his real corruption through a fastly-crumbling facade.

In the end, Obi Wan and Anakin duel, and when the duel happens, it's through Qui Gon that Obi Wan finds himself and defeats Anakin and its Qui Gon who apologizes for never being there for him when he needed him the most, but then Obi Wan insists he can not be saved. Qui Gon would finally agree in the end, adding "Not yet." But even then, Qui Gon will stay there and watch him as he writhes in pain and Obi Wan leaves. As Anakin starts to lose consciousness, he sees Qui Gon and that is what finally curbs his rage and makes him come to his senses just enough to find himself again.

Edit: Someone else also pointed out to me that it could have been just as valid to make the second half about jedi trying to figure out how to fight this "Darth Vader" that suddenly appeared. I like how it would retain the impact of Episode 5 if that approach would come, although I don't know how to make it fit with the current material that was established for the third episode.

Anyway, I'm done with this. If anything sticks out for me with the original trilogy, I might make a point to post about it, but a lot of what I'm seeing is from an amateur filmwriter's perspective anyway.

Michelle has never seen the prequels to Star Wars and barely remembers the original trilogy, so started taking to watching it again.

We watched Episode 1 a few days ago and I have to admit, now that it's later? I keep finding flaws. I could hammer on the old things: yes, Jar Jar is annoying; yes, Anakin is too much like a kid, etcetera etcetera.

I know hating on Episode 1 is something everyone has done too, and I'm sure there are tons of more erudite screenwriters out there who could write even longer books on this, but I honesty just wanted to get this off my chest and to see how I would have approached this from a script doctor approach if someone handed me this 200 page script and asked me what to do with it.

After having taken filmwriting workshops though, I can see this script is full of too many holes that I know will never get used and Chekov guns that will remain unfired. It's more frustrating because there's so much loaded potential here.

Rewatching it, I think the most annoying thing that sticks out to me though is how little it conforms to a traditional plot. Traditionally, films are formulaic yes, but the tradition sticks even among arthouse films: you follow those traditions because they work for getting your audience to really immerse and trust the actors. Episode 1 is more akin to on-the-fly DMing without a properly trained storyteller and a bunch of players who don't really know what they're doing. This can be all right for the people participating, but for people watching, it feels awkward as hell.

In the traditional sense, if we follow the first ten minutes of a script that really establishes what to expect, then we should anticipate that the story should be about a Trade Federation that will attack the jedi and stop them at all costs. This doesn't really happen though. The Trade Federation is seen as doddering fools with a handful of toys that are somewhat effective, but otherwise can only take down a relatively pacifist nation.

To be fair, this is the classic Lucas/Spielberg style. The original Star Wars didn't follow an established idea of what to expect any more than Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom. Here's the thing though: Temple of Doom is considered by many critics to be the weakest of the Indiana Jones saga short of Crystal Skull. You can work with a serial, but a serial requires endless action, and sometimes we want it to keep using the same skills that the characters have been using throughout the story.

Because of that, we have all these underutilized concepts that could be awesome if fully realized if it was not part of an already fanatically held canon. Some examples:

-Midichlorians. No one touched them after Qui-Gon, but think of how it could have been used in future stories. Imperial soldiers with midichlorian readers hunting out jedi in hiding. What if someone has a rare condition where the microbes are dying in their blood stream so is suffering the degenerative effects of losing them? What if we get a sith lord whose sole purpose is to exsanguinate the midichlorians from a jedi and gain temporary power through them like a vampire?

Imagine if you will if Count Dooku (who is played by Christopher Lee so would be double appropo) was so aware of Anakin's power and jealous of it that he siphoned Anakin's life force one body part at a time, starting with his hand. Can you imagine the impact that would have had in Episode 2 and how we'd all feel sympathetic for him fighting back and perhaps planting a deeper seed into him falling prey to the Dark Side?

-The pod race. I know pod races are a Tatooine thing, but wouldn't it have been neat if Anakin made more mention of his pod racing days back when he was a kid? Episode 2 began with Anakin racing like a madman and Obi Wan seems to conveniently forget this is the same kid who won a pod race on a backwater planet so I would think he would understand more about his padawan doing things like this.

Likewise, when Anakin returns, people could call him that pod race kid that made it big. Instead, he's like this forgotten thing. I'd love it if some of the people he raced were still there, trying to make it big and perhaps see him and then almost look at him with jealousy for getting out of here. It would likewise keep consistency with the original trilogy as it seemed some of the best pilots to join the Republic wanted to leave that planet ASAP.

-The Trade Federation. I honestly felt like they were underutilized in several ways. Yes, they have a giant battalion, they have an endless amount of droid ground troops that can get knocked over with a puff of wind. But that could have made for some epic battles.

Think about it this way: endless disposable troops were the makings for some of the most memorable battles in history. Think of Thermopylae. Think of Vicksburg. Hell, think of Stalingrad!

Imagine if Naboo had hundreds of these disposable troops just dropped from the sky because the Trade Federation could (and we know they could) just punching holes into the city before they disassemble and move out. A force like that that practically razed the city just by being deployed would have made us actually fear the Trade Federation for the endless resources they had. Plus, if they used those ball droids more often, we would have felt the real impact of their power.

I think the visit to Jar Jar's hometown would have been emphasized better if they realized the Trade Federation just didn't care and was sending troops everywhere to find them. The leader of that group then could have found a scout troop of the incompetent ones and basically would have been incentivized further to give them a vessel to get out of dodge because he would know the droids were coming for them.

I know you can argue that the Trade Federation were intentionally neutered to emphasize the danger of the Sith, but the script could have reminded us who Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan were fixated on instead of this sith presence that suddenly made itself known.

I can picture a few other things that could have been punched up.

-The first meeting with Darth Maul should have been in the town around Waddo's shop. The scenery would have offered an environment that Qui-Gon and Darth Maul could have interacted with while fighting in the streets. We could feel the energy of it because people would be running like hell and, simultaneously, we would have had an opportunity to see Anakin's real potential to be a hero and maverick by trying to help Qui-Gon against a force that he knows he can not defeat at that moment so maybe would throw fruit or something at the Sith to distract him just enough for Qui-Gon to get back his footing while Obi Wan, sensing the coming danger, swoops in like the cavalry to haul them into the ship. It also doesn't feel tapered on as the original fight scene had them running in the sand without even a craft of some sort running on foot to their hidden location.

-Every Trade Federation battle. Seriously, they could have reenacted Stalingrad with their tanks and endless droids. A scene of the Gungans being literally trenched with droid bodies would have emphasized the overwhelming odds they faced despite how worthless those dumb things were. Lucas could also afford it, he threw enough money into the film to make it possible and we all knew it.

-The handmaidens. I think the audience could have gotten more out of Empress Amidala if we saw her utilize her handmaidens more often throughout the discussions. We know Padme is the real "man behind the curtain" but throughout the film, it's her proxy that seems to be in charge and seems to be speaking for everyone by herself throughout the council. I think it would have been neat if she was always surrounded by her handmaidens the same way security would follow a famous person, always looking around, always speaking privately to her. Even more interesting, it would have been even more appropriate if Amidala never spoke and it was through Padme that she quietly voiced the empress' thoughts. That way, we'd know they were more than accessories and really feel the connection she has for those who serve her and vica-versa.

-The use of the force in the prequels always annoyed me. It's like no one can handle catching moving objects like falling lightsabers or columns. I'm sure there's some canonical explanation, but it drives me nuts.

-And I know people have said this before, but Anakin really should have been older, like a mid-tween from Season 1 Stranger Things. I keep cringing at Padme's willingness for Anakin's d every time I look at that kid.

-Jar Jar could have been introduced earlier so we could make more camaraderie with them. What if he was being dragged to a jail on the Trade Federation ship as a trade negotiator that was given Rosenkratz and Guildenstern-styled mission by the Gungans to reject the Trade Federation's offer, but Jar Jar being Jar Jar, he gets stuck for the ride with the jedi instead of some tagalong who follows as soon as the two jedi land on the planet. The two jedi wouldn't ditch a prisoner and, not welcome by the gungans because he's an obvious screw-up, he would be forced to come along anyway and maybe he has a moment where he acknowledges he's one, or a "save the cat" moment where he realizes Sebulba did something with the speeder but can't do anything about it because his mouth was numbed through that energy beam the pod racer has (forcefully in this version) by Sebulba when he's found. This would endear him to the audience more because you know he's trying even though he's an utter idiot so when he's stumbling around killing things, we can at least root for him somehow because we know he isn't just some goof in life.

There might be a few more things, but I'm watching Episode 2 right now as I type this. I'll write some notes for this too, but I was too preoccupied writing this to pay the fullest attention about it.