Reviving an old attempt

This piece is a bit of a challenge. I'll keep it on public for now just because it's still an unfinished draft. Basically, this is an attempt for a new genre perspective: World War fantasy. Very difficult for me to properly get a grasp on since my writing skill in that genre is far from complete (though I do think it helps that I have worshiped Erich Maria Lemarque for so long).

( Here's what I have so far. Any thoughts? Complaints? It's only a handful of pages anyway, so... )

Reviving an old attempt

This piece is a bit of a challenge. I'll keep it on public for now just because it's still an unfinished draft. Basically, this is an attempt for a new genre perspective: World War fantasy. Very difficult for me to properly get a grasp on since my writing skill in that genre is far from complete (though I do think it helps that I have worshiped Erich Maria Lemarque for so long).

( Here's what I have so far. Any thoughts? Complaints? It's only a handful of pages anyway, so... )