There is something evil in this word when used with relationships

[zesty_pinto]

"Soon."

I realized that problem with this term after noting certain comments towards the single people that tend to use this word. Yes, a word as this, this adjective that translates to "later" is synonymous with one of the things you never, ever, want to say to someone that is perpetually single.

"You'll find someone soon."

Now, does anyone notice the problem with this when you state this to a person that has lived the single life for far too long for their liking? You're offering something akin to a promise, or some sort of dream, but you offer them nothing to look forward to. Why? Because "soon" is indeterminate.

Soon could mean:
-five seconds later
-Twelve years in the future
-Right before your deathbed
-Right this very second I just typed this out

Having someone tell you that something is happening soon might as well be the equivalent of, "Don't call us, we'll call you." And does someone that has been waiting for too long want to hear that? Hell no! "Soon" is the empty promise adjective. Consider other instances where you can see this term.

"Northeastern University and University of California scientists say they might soon have evidence of extra dimensions and other exotic predictions."
-Notice that "might" is right next to "soon." Research on something so outlandishly difficult to discern is obviously going to take years of research. In this instance, "soon" might as well mean "within our lifetime."

"N.O. soon will start razing homes"
-The article I pulled this headline from lists the day to be on the 15th of February, which is two weeks after the article was printed.

"EverQuest II update coming soon"
-Again, another article that screws up with time. This one lists this update in three weeks or so.

So how soon is soon?

The answer is: as damn long as it likes to be. And that's the problem when you put it into the context of jilted single people! You should also note how it almost becomes a redundant image when you say something with the word "soon" in it.

"I will get that PS3."
"I will get that PS3 soon."

"The Red Sox will beat the Yankees."
"Soon, the Red Sox will beat the Yankees."

"I'm going to finish this stupid entry."
"I'm going to finish this stupid entry soon."

See? It's totally unnecessary. When someone is sensitive about this sort of thing, the last thing they need is another nail into their memory of how they don't have what they want.

So be considerate next time: don't tell them "you'll find someone soon," because you might as well be kicking them between the legs and laughing about it in their face.

Comments

[polianarchy.livejournal.com]

yay!

[delennamachoo.livejournal.com]

I think the kitty is going to eat me.

[zesty-pinto.livejournal.com]

No! You can eat the typer, but spare Ollie! :O

[delennamachoo.livejournal.com]

Technically, I don't think the kitten would WANT to eat Oliver. He's a tiny pile of ashes in a little silver urn sitting atop one of the chinchilla cages in the smallest bedroom of the house.

[zesty-pinto.livejournal.com]

Yay! Ollie is invincible!

*big chin cheer*

[polianarchy.livejournal.com]

no no no...Rudie just wants to shoot you with the big lazerz coming out of her eyes.

[delennamachoo.livejournal.com]

Micah says her lasers are BIGGER.

[polianarchy.livejournal.com]

Rudie deflects the dual-color kitty lazerz with her fuzzy tummy!

[delennamachoo.livejournal.com]

I like tel just tell people they're going to be alone for the rest of their lives, because no one is worth being with but me, and I'm taken.

IT CHEERS THEM RIGHT UP.

[zesty-pinto.livejournal.com]

Is that why you get so much fan service from _sterno_ and assfingers? ;)

[delennamachoo.livejournal.com]

I don't think so. _sterno_ KNOWS he is no good. That's why there's i_hate_sterno_. There IS a strange number of Wisconsinites on my friends list thanks to andamaroo. I've known him for years. He kept pushing LJ, and they just sort of came along with the LJ package. Now, I seem to have the occasional friend of THEIRS like bizarre and sarkathstic adding me. I've never set foot in cheeseheadland.

[zesty-pinto.livejournal.com]

Haw! You guys are hilariously demented.

[zesty-pinto.livejournal.com]

Do you have this love of Green Bay and/or this tendency to scream out, "Packers! Woo!"?

Also, do you have any experience with a Jim Anchower (http://www.theonion.com/content/columnists/view/anchower), perchance?

[delennamachoo.livejournal.com]

No, I don't have either of those features ;).


That guy is what I imagine assfingers to be like in person.

[jezebel-25.livejournal.com]

ugh. I prefer when people just say *nothing* to me about it.

I just got into a fight with my brother tonight because he is "worried about me." Worried because I am almost 30 and single. You know, I almost punched him through the phone.

on a totally different note...are you going to big apple anime fest next week?

=)

[zesty-pinto.livejournal.com]

I didn't know about it. Still kind of intimidated after my encounter with Rutgers Anime Club (too many Comic Book Guy impersonators...!). Why, are you headed that way?

[polianarchy.livejournal.com]

that's a part of the comic con, right? or vice versa? either way, i'm going to the comic con. :D

[delennamachoo.livejournal.com]

You should get a chastity belt and show up at his house telling him you're preserving your virtue. After all, the chastity belt is the only thing more archaic than the idea that there is something wrong with someone who is not married by a certain age or at all.