Eragon: Yeesh
Dec. 17th, 2006 08:51 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
zesty_pintoYou know, when I was 15 I was also writing my own novel. When I looked it over in the later years, I considered it the equivalent of a bad Xena episode, not because it was based on Xena (at the time, I think I watched maybe one episode and got tired of it), but because it didn't have enough development and plot to make me feel like it was worth reading for a long period of time. Yet, someone who's two years older manages to write a novel that not only rips off several plots from famous authors but offers nothing new also gets a book deal AND a movie? Talk about depressing.
The movie was no less depressing. There's talk of elves and dwarves, but... where are they? There are Samaritans: are they supposed to be the elves, or did they kick out all of the other non-human races? Why is someone capable of teleporting something 1000 miles away but isn't capable of doing any other magic? Did this all really happen in one day? Why were there no more ringwraith wannabes after only two-three were killed? Hell, one of them should still technically be alive: swinging in a tree of a piercing limb that DEFINITELY missed its heart.
I seriously was waiting for some famous one-liners to come around through the movie:
"Aren't you a little short for a hero?"
"It's a trap!"
"He's coming right towards us!"
"To me!"
On the bright side, at least I didn't pay for this movie. The icee that I drank as I watched the movie, however, deserved more recognition. Still, any movie that ends with music from Alanis Morrisette is the poop-flavored icing on the turd cake. John Malkovich probably chose this role because he wanted to try and see if he was good enough to help improve a really bad movie.
The movie was no less depressing. There's talk of elves and dwarves, but... where are they? There are Samaritans: are they supposed to be the elves, or did they kick out all of the other non-human races? Why is someone capable of teleporting something 1000 miles away but isn't capable of doing any other magic? Did this all really happen in one day? Why were there no more ringwraith wannabes after only two-three were killed? Hell, one of them should still technically be alive: swinging in a tree of a piercing limb that DEFINITELY missed its heart.
I seriously was waiting for some famous one-liners to come around through the movie:
"Aren't you a little short for a hero?"
"It's a trap!"
"He's coming right towards us!"
"To me!"
On the bright side, at least I didn't pay for this movie. The icee that I drank as I watched the movie, however, deserved more recognition. Still, any movie that ends with music from Alanis Morrisette is the poop-flavored icing on the turd cake. John Malkovich probably chose this role because he wanted to try and see if he was good enough to help improve a really bad movie.
