Til Death Dues Me Apart
Feb. 18th, 2019 04:46 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
zesty_pinto$2,500 is no easy sum. With $2,500, I can get:
- a new current-gen full-frame DSLR
- a mid-range telephoto
- a pretty damn good prime lens (unless you use medium format)
- a really high end custom computer rig, complete with monitor and penile-enlarging peripherals with rainbow LEDs all over it
- a damn decent week in a nice hotel off-peak season
Which is why I spent the last 12 hours griping that I put $2,500 on
- a wedding deposit
Yup, the axe has fallen and we checked the calendar and we are good to go with the wedding thing. Sigh.
If you're wondering why I am so depressed about this time of joy, it was because I was told from Michelle's relatives that their estimates rounded to about a little over 6k. I reminded them time and again that I didn't want to have a ceremony because of cost, while Michelle was insistent that we wouldn't have money problems doing this. I kept running the numbers in my head and it meant that in order for us to pay back everything, the 50 guests that are coming would be expected to put in 200 dollars per plate. That's not including a photographer, music, chauffeur (the location is in the middle of nowhere and there's going to be liquor because it's Portuguese), let alone the liquor costs.
I bit my lip and called the manager there and gave them my credit card info. Ironically, I checked my credit card and $2,500 is also just enough to pay off my credit card so I could work on Michelle's debt (she's still at $15k, another problem all to itself), so my debt load doubled for this wedding so far and that's not including the $7.5k I need to handle once it gets to September.
By the way, After the end of March, I was predicting I would have finished my debt once and for all.
You have no idea how many fathoms of anger I was holding in versus the rage I was screaming into a pillow at how much all my hopes to buy a house this year have officially been shitcanned thanks to this revelation.
Michelle's parents, the people who pushed us into having a ceremony to begin with, offered to cover $5k of the debt load, mentioning that the guests will probably cover the rest.
I'm very skeptical about this and couldn't sit still because it's still $100/person for a ceremony where people will be renting hotel rooms up in VT just to attend this thing as well.
In my own inability to feel human, I crammed myself into the carpet walkway between the bed and slept there covered in pillows in some sort of weird penance for thinking I would ever be debt free and just lay there, feeling sorry for myself until 4 in the morning when my body finally cooled off. Despite that, I still feel hot just thinking about how much I knew this was going to happen and how much I did not want a ceremony because of how much it would set our debts back.
The next time I'm around them, I'm going to mention the second job to them. Michelle didn't want me to, but I give up and I want to emphasize just how bad our debt load was even before this just so they are aware of how much their desires are pushing us back. I think they feel bad a bit because I think they heard me swear out loud after making the deposit.
We're going to be 26k in debt in total, her and me. I can only work on this job until September, after which I will quit the second job because their time requirements make it impossible for me to keep everyone happy given how troublesome Christmas and Thanksgiving was. That means if I can keep this ship right and neither of us have any medical expenses, then that's an extra $2.5k I can probably put into the finance pool and that I'll probably put aside for covering more of the wedding.
Michelle feels bad and she knows I am upset and has offered to throw in money, but I keep telling her that as a couple we need to handle debts equally and she's sinking faster than me, so I'm going to handle most of the debt load for this. It pisses me off, but I'm going to be more angry if I see this lead to her stay at $15k in debt and live with $200+ in service charges as a result of this empty gesture.
As a perpetual pessimist, I think we are, at best, going to break even. Michelle said that if that's the case then at least we did good. I keep telling her that this won't include the finance charges from the debt itself.
I have no idea to predict how much we can handle, but I'm going to try, I'm probably going to cry, and if I'm lucky then maybe I can keep a smile through the entire wedding without snapping at someone for an event that makes everyone but me happy.
I know as well that this isn't even the worst it can go. I'm still aware that Vermont weddings average around $37k; I still would rather we went on a honeymoon somewhere where we didn't work our asses off just to break even.
I hate everything right now. This might persist for another month or so, depending on how my checkbooks look. I'll try to be more entertaining in another post, just needed to vent this thick stream of pure unfiltered haterade.
- a new current-gen full-frame DSLR
- a mid-range telephoto
- a pretty damn good prime lens (unless you use medium format)
- a really high end custom computer rig, complete with monitor and penile-enlarging peripherals with rainbow LEDs all over it
- a damn decent week in a nice hotel off-peak season
Which is why I spent the last 12 hours griping that I put $2,500 on
- a wedding deposit
Yup, the axe has fallen and we checked the calendar and we are good to go with the wedding thing. Sigh.
If you're wondering why I am so depressed about this time of joy, it was because I was told from Michelle's relatives that their estimates rounded to about a little over 6k. I reminded them time and again that I didn't want to have a ceremony because of cost, while Michelle was insistent that we wouldn't have money problems doing this. I kept running the numbers in my head and it meant that in order for us to pay back everything, the 50 guests that are coming would be expected to put in 200 dollars per plate. That's not including a photographer, music, chauffeur (the location is in the middle of nowhere and there's going to be liquor because it's Portuguese), let alone the liquor costs.
I bit my lip and called the manager there and gave them my credit card info. Ironically, I checked my credit card and $2,500 is also just enough to pay off my credit card so I could work on Michelle's debt (she's still at $15k, another problem all to itself), so my debt load doubled for this wedding so far and that's not including the $7.5k I need to handle once it gets to September.
By the way, After the end of March, I was predicting I would have finished my debt once and for all.
You have no idea how many fathoms of anger I was holding in versus the rage I was screaming into a pillow at how much all my hopes to buy a house this year have officially been shitcanned thanks to this revelation.
Michelle's parents, the people who pushed us into having a ceremony to begin with, offered to cover $5k of the debt load, mentioning that the guests will probably cover the rest.
I'm very skeptical about this and couldn't sit still because it's still $100/person for a ceremony where people will be renting hotel rooms up in VT just to attend this thing as well.
In my own inability to feel human, I crammed myself into the carpet walkway between the bed and slept there covered in pillows in some sort of weird penance for thinking I would ever be debt free and just lay there, feeling sorry for myself until 4 in the morning when my body finally cooled off. Despite that, I still feel hot just thinking about how much I knew this was going to happen and how much I did not want a ceremony because of how much it would set our debts back.
The next time I'm around them, I'm going to mention the second job to them. Michelle didn't want me to, but I give up and I want to emphasize just how bad our debt load was even before this just so they are aware of how much their desires are pushing us back. I think they feel bad a bit because I think they heard me swear out loud after making the deposit.
We're going to be 26k in debt in total, her and me. I can only work on this job until September, after which I will quit the second job because their time requirements make it impossible for me to keep everyone happy given how troublesome Christmas and Thanksgiving was. That means if I can keep this ship right and neither of us have any medical expenses, then that's an extra $2.5k I can probably put into the finance pool and that I'll probably put aside for covering more of the wedding.
Michelle feels bad and she knows I am upset and has offered to throw in money, but I keep telling her that as a couple we need to handle debts equally and she's sinking faster than me, so I'm going to handle most of the debt load for this. It pisses me off, but I'm going to be more angry if I see this lead to her stay at $15k in debt and live with $200+ in service charges as a result of this empty gesture.
As a perpetual pessimist, I think we are, at best, going to break even. Michelle said that if that's the case then at least we did good. I keep telling her that this won't include the finance charges from the debt itself.
I have no idea to predict how much we can handle, but I'm going to try, I'm probably going to cry, and if I'm lucky then maybe I can keep a smile through the entire wedding without snapping at someone for an event that makes everyone but me happy.
I know as well that this isn't even the worst it can go. I'm still aware that Vermont weddings average around $37k; I still would rather we went on a honeymoon somewhere where we didn't work our asses off just to break even.
I hate everything right now. This might persist for another month or so, depending on how my checkbooks look. I'll try to be more entertaining in another post, just needed to vent this thick stream of pure unfiltered haterade.
