Don't worry about it, it's just fate calling me and telling me that I cannot escape it. I will not be able to. Not yet, not until I understand why I am given this divine order. I may sound demented right now, but I cannot fathom any other reason behind this since efforts have only shown me wrong or feeling out of place. My true conclusion is to find that project and to hopefully use it to help propel me out of this sealed fate.