notasupervillain: (Default)
notasupervillain ([personal profile] notasupervillain) wrote in [personal profile] zesty_pinto 2019-02-19 03:49 pm (UTC)

Okay, so, speaking as a woman who didn't have much money and hated traditional weddings anyway:

There is SO FUCKING MUCH social pressure on a woman to have a traditional wedding. Not just the idea that since basically kindergaten I was raised to think about what colours I'd want and what my dress would look like. But once I announced I was engaged, the pressure became really intense. "You need flowers". "I don't want to pay for flowers, I hate flowers." "But what will you do with your hands in the photos?" Every single fucking detail becomes a fight. And every single detail costs money.

I was bridesmaid last summer and it was BRUTAL. Her parents contributed money, and they thought that meant they got to dictate what their money was spent on. What would the guests say if there wasn't a candy bar? It's the little touches that matter. Her dress was gorgeous, but the important thing was that "she wore it, the dress didn't wear her". It cost at least one order of magnitude more than my dress, and I've worn my dress since - most recently with a blazer to a job interview. It was far more beautiful than my dress, though. And this was my special day, the one day of my life I got to be a princess, the one day of me life that was "about me". And I didn't buy my princess dress.

I get what you're feeling, and it's fucking bullshit, but I have sympathy for Michelle too. If her social network is anything like mine, she's going to be under incredibly intense pressure to pay for every detail, and you as the husband (assuming your gender, apologies if I guessed wrong, no way to see someone's gender presentation over the internet) will face maybe 10% of the social backlash she'll get. Though. You're right.

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